Mortified

You know what's a pretty stunning realization to make at the age of 39?

That if I got to choose anywhere in the universe to live it would be a tie between a hobbit house:


And a Thomas fucking Kinkade painting:

Perfect Record

You'll never guess what we did!

Oh, did you guess we went to yet another Angels baseball game and watched them whoop some Dodger ass? Then never mind. You'll totally be able to guess.

This time we switched things up a little and invited Aunty's fiance (!), Tio Erick, to join us. The Angels were playing game three in their series against the Dodgers, and Erick is a lifelong Dodgers fan, so...

Angels Fan v. Dodgers Fan! (is it cute or weird that I made them them play out these little skits for my amusement?)


Tori Hunter hits a homer


7th Inning Stretch


Angels win! Dash's record remains intact!

Berries

Can we just talk about Summer for a minute? Why is it that all Fall & Winter long I'm just a mean little hobbit hiding indoors and growling at passers-by, but the minute the sun stays up past 7pm I am full of nothing but glee and good will toward men?

Also strawberries.

And to that end, Hey! We packed up the kid and our friends, the beloved Kinkaid family, & headed to Underwood Farms for a day of fresh air and stained fingers.

But first, there were some ponies to address (like you don't get all crazy with your camera phone apps, sheesh)


Some tractors to master


Some being handsome to do


Some jumping to accomplish


More handsoming


And then, finally, the main event. We picked more than 15 lbs. of strawberries (we probably ate an equal amount in the field).


Then we got home & boiled the ever-loving crap out of those berries.


And made this. A little runny but delicious. If you get within 10 feet of me in the next six months you can expect to be accosted with a jar.

Play

Laundry basket as pirate ship:

Lyrics:
Yo ho yo ho, a pirate's life for me! / We steal the treasure / um / We love to eat dinner / love to eat cake / And ghost pirates are bad / Especially ghost pirates! / Yo ho yo ho a pirate's life for me! / Hooks & swords we love / We have hooks & swords / We have hooks & swords / We have guns & hooks & swords / We love to have coins and to be rich / Yo ho yo ho a pirate's life for me! / A kitten named Lou / He loves Guerrerro the fishy and Lou Kitty and Winnie Kitty are... / I love my animals! / I love my animals! / Yo ho yo ho a pirate's life for me! / Yo ho yo ho a pirate's life for me! [complaining]

Jail:

On a related note, PIRATES! RUN!

Round

Can you tell the difference between these two round objects?

One is full of red goo & tastes delicious dipped in ranch dressing.

The other is a tomato.

What what!

(Our first tomato of 2010! We got it before the squirrels & I ate it in a salad last night. It was goddamn delicious. Fuck you, squirrels.)

I'll be 39 next month. Time to get rolling on this:

Life List

Visit Spain, Greece, France, England & Italy with Josh & Dash
See the Grand Canyon

Go camping
Make gazpacho entirely from veggies I grew
Read Harry Potter with Dash
Eat a truffle
Go on a wine tasting weekend with our friends

Go fishing
Take an art class
Take the boys to NYC for Christmas
Have a raingutter regatta
Host a mystery party
Knit a pair of socks
See the Nutcracker
Learn to ride a bike with Dash

Eat at Nepenthe Restaurant in Big Sur
Cure fear of heights
Create & observe new family traditions for Winter solstice
Get completely out of debt

Go to the LA Philharmonic
Spend a summer week at the beach
Spend a winter week in the mountains
Visit Savannah
Stay at the Ahwahnee in Yosemite

Make a lamp out of something nuts

Make ice cream
Enter a jam in a county fair
Run a 5k
Participate at least once in the Toy Society's toy drop.
Visit Hogwarts in Orlando (or here if it ever gets built!)
Go to the Hudson Valley in the Fall
Learn to draw/watercolor
Create an original doll to sell

Norse

Here's a long story with no pay off. You're welcome.

Josh's dad is actually his step dad. He raised Josh from the age of five and eventually adopted him, but he's not his biological father and so Josh doesn't share his last name (Olson). Since Josh is his dad's only son and we wanted to make sure that Dash would carry the Olson name, we made it his middle name. We want to instill in Dash the importance of moving that name forward through his own kids, too.

OK. Olson, as you may be aware, is not so much a Jewish last name. He's actually descended from Norsemen and, we like to imagine, Vikings. I'm sure you understand the ferocity with which Dash has embraced his Viking heritage. It is just another reason (along with the convertible MG & law enforcement past) for Dash to idolize his Grandpa.

And so, in homage to my Olson men, I made this:

I was deeply inspired by the work of Sandra Monat.


Here's our Viking. I call him Ginger.


The dragon is made from peacock feather fabric (the closest thing to a real dragon I can imagine). The ships are from wood grain fabric I had left over from the pirate peg leg doll I made for Dash (but never posted). The "ocean" is giant ric rac with a decorative stitch over the top. It's kind of a mess, but you know, it's how I do.