Goodbye

This weekend the three of us headed up north to Sonoma, to Dash's aunt & uncle, Cheryl & Doron's, house to gather with some of our closest friends and family and say goodbye to my dad. It wasn't a memorial. It was a party. It was raucous and full of all the foods he loved and booze he imbibed. We all held each other up as we laughed and cried at our memories of him and talked about how our lives were shaped by him. We sat around a fire and sang old songs badly and at the top of our lungs. It was exactly the farewell he deserved, and the kind of party he would have been proud to throw his own self.

Uncle Doron & my dad's friend, Misha, with two countem TWO types of caviar.

Dash kinda almost tried one.

Timothy & Kate & shots of vodka, as it should be.

You know you're at a Russian party when you're rocking assorted smoked & salted fish & people are actually eating them.

Also, FOUR types of oysters. Is it weird how much I'm focusing on the food?

Cured mmmmeats.

Josh ate oysters.

Dash pretended to eat oysters.

Aunty & Tio & Nacho came up and helped keep me steady.

And then we started singing.

Accompanied by Dash on the flute, obvs.

Then, marshmallows, elegantly consumed. 

My dad was an atheist to the end. But I'm not, and the idea that I may never see him again makes me want to start setting houses on fire, so I'll say this to the old man: See you in the sky. Thank you for the beautiful life and the perfect memories. Thank you for the laughter and lessons. Thank you for loving me the best. I love you the best, too.

Scenes From the Weekend

Blanket fort + cupcake breakfast

Swimming at the Dulce

Email

When Dash was born Josh set up an email address for him. Because that's what nerds do when they have babies.

Anyway, I got my first email from Dash a couple of nights ago. 

1. Fucking right? Sometimes having a child is totally worth the aggravation.
2. Please note the subject line. The kid has priorities.

Poops

Gerts “Jerry” Tarshis lost his battle with cancer on Sunday, September 2, 2012. He was 72. Jerry spent his last days surrounded by his family and loved ones. At his request, no service will be held. 

Our wedding, with Sonja & Doron, 2002

Jerry was born on December 24, 1939 in Khabarovsk in the USSR to Vera and Ruvim Tarshis. He grew up in Lvov, where he graduated from university and later worked as a pharmaceutical engineer. It was there that he met his first wife, Rima, and had his only child, Elizaveta. The family immigrated to Los Angeles in 1974. He and Rima divorced shortly thereafter, and he began a successful career as an art dealer and custom framer. 

Russian River, 2010 

In 1990, Jerry met the love of his life, Sonja, an attorney. After happily living in sin for more than 14 years, they finally tied the knot in 2004. The couple retired in 2006 and moved to Albany, Oregon where he could fulfill his dreams of living the rural life. The couple spent the next six years happily tending to fruit trees, berry bushes and myriad vegetable boxes full of wonderful things.

Russian River, 2011 

Jerry was a beloved father and husband, an artist, poet, mentor, world-class host and gardener, and an inspiration to everyone who knew him. He is mourned by his wife, Sonja Tarshis; daughter and son-in-law, Elizaveta and Joshua Engel; step-son and daughter-in-law, Doron and Cheryl Wallace-Amiran; grandson, Dashiell Engel; brother, Valery Tarshis; and cousin and her husband, Elena and Ilya Vekselman. He was preceded in death by his nephew, Roma Tarshis, and step-son, Roger Amiran.

In lieu of flowers, the family requests that donations be made in his name to the Jewish National Fund Tree Planting Center, 800-542-8733.

Our wedding, 2002