Monday, October 29, 2007

Happy Halloweenie, 2007!

Halloween, Thus Far

Here's a bit of what I've been up to this Halloween season. There were also cookies and cupcakes that, though yummy, came out too ugly to take ownership of.

These are baby Granny Smiths, each is about the size of an egg. (Stakes are courtesy of Martha)

Treat bags for Dash's friends at school. I printed vintage Halloween cards onto label paper & stuck them onto glassine bags from Target. Each bag contains some cinnamon alphabet cookies and a couple of pieces of candy.

Cupcake boxes for our neighbors and Dash's teachers.

The cupcakes are red velvet, so when you bite in they look like they're bleeding. Yum.

Grub, bub

I always thought it was so weird when my dad would hand me a plate of food at whatever odd hour I wandered in and just set back in his chair to watch me eat. He told me then that I wouldn't ever understand the pleasure a parent gets from watching their child eat until I had kids of my own.

And how.

I'm thinking now, wondering what I enjoyed more: hearing his first "I love you, Mommy," or watching Dash eat an egg and some cherry tomatoes. I can't believe I'm admitting this, but I swear to God it's the food. I always knew he loved me, but I honestly never believed I'd see him eat a tomato.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Fair Cop

Dash is learning about personal property. He walks around the house pointing out random objects and naming their owner: boxers in the laundry, "Daddy;" espadrille wedges, "Mommy;" nana blanket, "Dash." And so on.

The other day my Mother was sitting for us when he happened upon a wine cork that one of the cats must have stolen off the counter. He held it up proudly to his Baba and declared: "MOMMY!"

Goddamn right, son. Goddamn right.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007


Twenty-five posts of sunshine coming out of my ass. Cripes. Now back to our regularly-scheduled ceaseless complaining.

Dear Method,

I love you. I love that you're affordable and available at Target (or what we Engels call "our other house") and smell nice and are good to the environment. I will use your products through thick and thin.

Just one question, though; your dish soap bottles used to look like this:So easy to grab with soapy hands. So lovely to look at--never any need to hide it from guests.

Now they look like this:

Lemme ask you. Did anyone at your packaging design hq actually try to wash dishes with this thing? How many times did the bottle slip into the sink before they declared, "Fuck it. What alternative do those Gore-loving hippies have?" Five? I'm guessing five.



Dear Person Who Put on Dash's Diaper Yesterday,

I was never any good at physics, either, so I totally see how you could get confused. But the thing is: the diaper has to actually be fastened at the waist in order to stay in place and most effectively absorb the effluvia.

The Laundress

On a related note...

Dear Dash's Large Intestine,

Really? Ten minutes apart? Full on runs? That doesn't seem excessive to you?

Thanks for nothing,
Head Ass-Wiper

But there is some sunshine to report.

Dear Caillou,

Bless your high-pitched, innocuous, Canadian heart. Your mom looks like she actually gave birth to two kids,

and I would move into your house tomorrow if I could.

I'm glad Dash loves you.

The Entertainment Director


Dear Woman in Prada Glasses and Business Attire Walking Down Wilshire Eating a Chicken Leg,

You're flawless.

Warmest Regards,
An Admirer

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

25 Days, 25

What's great about us is that after driving three hours to the farm with the pumpkin patch and the apple picking (closure of the main artery out of town tripled our drive time) and another two hours there running around feeding cows and turkeys, we left without a single pumpkin or apple.

Thank God for Trader Joe's.

Saturday, October 13, 2007

25 Days, 24

Yeah, we seen some stuff today.

bad-ass tractors

assorted pumpkins and squashes

a corn maze where we got so lost we had to go out the way we came in

giant tire tunnel

first-ever pony ride

petting zoo

and this delight, as usual

Friday, October 12, 2007

25 Days, 23

Mazel Tov, Mr. Gore.

On behalf of our child and his children and grandchildren, we thank you for your work with the environment. Because of your influence we:
  • switched to compact fluorescent bulbs
  • use only biodegradable cleaning products
  • recycle more vigilantly
  • eliminated bottled water
  • eat more organic and local food
  • and most importantly, we think before we act

Monday, October 08, 2007

25 Days, 22

Getting ready to welcome the harvest season.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

25 Days, 21

Danzig baby

We had some friends over for a bbq this weekend and somehow Josh managed to capture the one fleeting smile we got out of Dash in the entire 6 hours.

However, best grilled shrimp recipe in the history of shrimp and recipes:

Basil Shrimp

  • 2 1/2 tablespoons olive oil
  • 1/4 cup butter, melted
  • 1 1/2 lemons, juiced
  • 3 tablespoons brown mustard
  • 1/2 cup minced fresh basil
  • 3 cloves garlic, minced
  • salt to taste
  • white pepper
  • 3 pounds fresh shrimp, peeled and deveined
  • skewers

  1. In a shallow, non-porous dish or bowl, mix together olive oil and melted butter. Stir in lemon juice, mustard, basil, and garlic, and season with salt and white pepper. Add shrimp, and toss to coat. Cover, and refrigerate for 1 hour.
  2. Preheat grill to high heat. Remove shrimp from marinade, and thread onto skewers. Discard marinade.
  3. Lightly oil grill grate, and arrange skewers on preheated grill. Cook for 4 minutes, turning once, or until opaque.
I served this with a Caesar salad, black beans & Mexican rice.

25 Days, 20


another in my growing collection of stupid nutcrackers

the doll pins in their branchy home

garland made from free Dover samples printed on card stock & strung together with orange embroidery floss