I wasn't even going to comment on this newest wave of infection sweeping through the Engel residence. I mean, yes, we get it: it's near Winter and kids get sick. But c'mon now.
First I get the call on Friday afternoon from daycare that he's doing the seal bark and wheezing. They think it's Croup. (Which, the fuck? Croup? Is it 1812? I thought Croup was eradicated with consumption and the vapors?) Except by the time we get to urgent care the cough has evolved into a more mucous-y hack and a bright red rash has cropped up on his cheeks. Also: fever. So, not Croup but Fifth disease. Cool, we can deal with Fifth disease. Just a little baby Tylenol for the fever and lots of love and slices of apples from Mama.
Cut to Monday morning when he wakes up with a subtle pink sheen under his left eye. I honestly thought I had caused it when I wiped a bit of sleep from his lashes (all you mystery buffs will recognize that as foreshadowing). By 1pm the gloop was so thick he could hardly see out of that eye. By the time we left urgent care (second time in five days, folks!) and got his eye drop prescription filled, the pinkeye had migrated into the second eye.
Meanwhile, the original infirmity rages on! His cough is so loose I keep thinking he's going to choke on his own phlegm! His nose is so crusty with boogers that he has to take breaks from drinking his milk in order to breathe.
OK, it's out of my system now. I promise to let all future Winter 2007 ailments pass without comment.