We start out slow and subtle. Just a sweet little snowflake spinning gently from a strand of lights.
Then things escalate quickly.
Nearly each house in the neighborhood had a stanza from "A Visit from St. Nicholas", which is way, way longer than I thought.
You think you like hockey? Have you transformed your front lawn into a Christmas-themed hockey rink?
Do you have illuminated hockey sticks on the roof of your house? Yeah, I didn't think so.
You think you like the Lakers? See above.
Dash noted that this animatronic bear was drumming "suspiciously slowly."
You think you like Star Wars? OK, I'll stop.
This kind Santa kept exclaiming that he had lost the Naughty List, which heartened Dash quite a bit.
However this Santa will dunk on your ass.
OK, I think we've established that I fucking love Christmas. I mean, I really, really love Christmas. I start thinking about Christmas in August. And by "thinking about Christmas," I mean actively making lists, designing our cards & planning the invitations and menus for our many annual end-of-year gatherings. There are spreadsheets (multiple) involved. I mean, I don't honestly think I've ever met anyone in person who loves Christmas as much as me. But then this guy built a full-size, working carousel on his front lawn.
Also (same house, same lawn) this gingerbread house that is bigger than my first apartment. So. You know, touche, dude.
We were trying to figure out if this was a mistake or a prank? Either way, "Ho Oh Ho" to you, too, good people.
Sure, Ronald Reagan on a tractor. Why not?
Sure, a pair of Mr. & Mrs. Claus Pez dispensers (with moving heads, naturally). Also why not?
Dash approves.
All right Wakefield residents, you crazy beautiful bastards, we'll see you next year. Merry Christmas.
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