Goals

I won't call them resolutions, I'll call them goals. Here they are, whatever you call them:

1. Enter my jam in the Ventura County Fair. I know why I keep putting this off. It's because the idea of making something and not having it be loved just kills me. But I need to put myself out there. I want to take this risk. (nope)

2. Run a 10k. I want to get serious about running. I'm getting old and I want to be strong for as long as I can manage. Also, when I'm running, I'm not watching Disney Channel and no one is whining at me. I should embrace the peace when I can. (yep)

3. Work on the dollhouse. I have so many ideas for my crazy little Wizard's House, and I get so much pleasure from fiddling with tiny things. But I don't make time for it because it's silly. I officially give myself permission to be silly.

4. Make five crazy ice cream flavors from my new book. No reason other than it seems fun.

• Thai Chili
• Oolong
• Chai
• Coffee & Doughnuts
• Chocolate & Stout

5. Read twelve books in 2013. This would be easy if I would just put down my stupid phone.

• Mr. Penumbra's 24-Hour Bookstore: A Novel
• Finbar's Hotel
• September
• The Family Fang
• The Language of Flowers
• The Art Forger
• The Penderwicks
• Major Pettigrew's Last Stand
• Gone Girl
• Beautiful Ruins
• Never Let Me Go
• Let's Explore Diabetes with Owls

6. Do a face peel. This seems like a ridiculous thing to write down, but it's kind of a big deal to me. If I actually did this, I'd have to take a week for myself. I'd be stuck in the house, all blistered and useless, and I'd be putting myself and my needs and wants ahead of Dash and Josh's for that week.

7. No sugar on weekdays. Sugar is the devil. The sexy, sexy devil.

8. Pay off two of our most pressing debts.

LACMA

A couple of days after Christmas, we herded up a bunch of kids and took them to the museum. Last year it occurred to me to give the kids some notebooks and colored pencils so they could copy the art that they liked. We repeated the exercise this year. I'm really enamored with this project--the kids engage with the art, and the parents have something to discuss with them after leaving the museum. Win win.

Here are a few of their masterpieces along with the art that inspired them:

(Vagina.)

Why yes, Dash did copy an "out of order" sign. 

Date

One of my most favorite things about the holiday season is spending some one-on-one time with the little one. (Ha. Little.) Poor Josh had to work on the day after Chrsistmas, so Smalls & I headed out to Pasadena to visit Kidspace. I don't have much commentary for these pictures aside from: HOLY FUCKING SHIT WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO MY TEENSY BABY?

Water tornado? I am perhaps not the best guide through a science museum.

Worst. Restaurant. Ever. (In the bug exhibit).

I dunno. Levers, maybe?

I made him climb that wall six times by pretending I kept missing the picture. Really, I just wanted to make him keep doing it. Because I'm mean.

They brought snow in for the kids to play with (and by "snow" I mean "the shit at the bottom of my freezer.") Didn't stop Dash and all the other kids from having the time of their lives by hucking huge chunks of ice at their parents,

After leaving Kidspace, we went to a restaurant for dessert (Dash) and wine (Mommy). It takes a special type of cat to hold a spoon in one hand while digging into a scoop of ice cream with the bare fingers of his other hand.

Christmas Haul

Reindeer snacks left out the night before


Cookies & a note for Santa


Have you heard of this gift policy for Christmas--one thing they want, one thing they need, one thing to wear, one thing to read? Yeah, we don't do that.

Don't tell him it's upside down.

Dash had another Lakers jersey that was literally disintegrating from wear. Santa got him a much better quality replacement.

Dash got this hat at Disneyland this summer, and although it was his most favorite thing in the universe, he promptly lost it while trying on bike helmets at Target. Santa replaced it, too. Santa's pretty hardcore.


Nintendo 3DS. He already has the regular DS. Because why wouldn't a six year old need two DS gaming systems?




I got, among many, many other wonderful things, the Humphrey Slocombe Ice Cream Book. As I read the first line on the first page, I knew this book was for me.

 

 

Misc.

Merry

Lite Brites

The time has come once again for the Engels' Annual Review of the Christmas Crazy.

Wakefield  Place, you complete us.

My number one question this season is: Where do you crazy people STORE all this stuff January-November?

Oh, hello, stone turtle just hanging out in the middle of someone's driveway with a wrapped gift strapped to your back, you just make perfect sense. No, really, totally normal.

Even Dash is beginning to wonder about the mental health of the people on this block.

Where do you think the neighborhood dogs do their business during December?

Even the Jews were killin' it!

Oooooh, the Lakers!

Odelay, Santa.

Brrrrrr

It's Dasher, bitches!

The boys did a little bonding with the giant candy canes.

Maybe a lot.

Drunk.

Drunk.

Drunk.

Drunk.

Drunk. (OK, global warming. But also drunk).

Dunk.

Drunk.

Sure. R2D2. Why the hell not?

Play that funky music, Fat Boy.

Some friends recently visited Amsterdam and brought back a few pictures of the women in the Red Light District posing in the windows. Now, I'm not saying that's what's happening here with Mr. & Mrs. Claus, but even if it is, who am I to judge? He has a hard job. Let him relax however he wants.

Bye, Wakefield! I like to make fun, but it wouldn't be Christmas without you!