14 1/4 (updated)

Hi Smalls,

As of today, you know 14 words. These are them:

No: I don't think this means what you think it means. I mean, sometimes (when I'm trying to get you to eat something that is not a raisin, for example) I get the head shake accompanied by a long "noooooo," so I can assume you understand that "no" means, "thanks, Mom, but I'm cool." But what about the rest of the time? When you're sitting in the car seat and spontaneously give me the finger wag and "no" combo? What are you refusing at that moment? Or are you commenting on my driving? How about the random point-at-object-and-say-"no"-but-expect-parent-to-
fetch-it-for-you-anyway? What the hell is that?

Mama & Dada: Relatively interchangeable, but we'll take what we can get.

Baba: Your grandma, my mother.

Big Boy: "Bih Ba" is how you say it, and you could be talking about either cat (Hey, did you know that there are two cats? There are, but the smaller one is terrified of you.)

Pusa: The other cat. I heard you say "Putta" once, but you may have been parroting me since you probably don't know who she is (see above).
(note: the cats' proper names are Jake and Esmerelda. No one ever calls them that)

Dash: Every single time we carry you down the hall we have to stop to allow you to admire yourself in the collected photos hanging there. You call yourself "Da" and you point at your frozen glory and grin and grin.

Moo: This one kills me. You hold stuffed animals up to your mouth and say "moooooo." I don't know why! It's hilarious!

Nana: Does this count as a word? It's what you call your blanket.

Bye Bye: You say this while waving and it is so cute it makes my eyes water. Although sometimes you say it when nobody's going anywhere, and that feels a little like a dismissal. But whatever. It's adorable.

Dai: This was my first word, and it means "give me" in Russian. My mother swears she didn't teach it to you, so it must be genetic.

Hi!: You say it like you're from New York and in a hurry (but friendly).

Wow: Always, always in a stage whisper. Courtesy of your Aunty J.

Uh-Oh: It's like a paper towel commercial up in here.

Bonus: It's not a word, but you blow kisses like the guy on "The Dating Game," and it functions like a tranquilizer dart because everyone you aim it at immediately passes out from the adorableness.