New Bike

Flying

I had grand plans for Dash's 6th birthday. We were going to do a Pirate treasure hunt/mystery party at the house. I ordered the mystery kit, bought half of the supplies and started Pinning my ass off. Then he announced he wanted his party at Master Shin's (his Tae Kwon Do studio). Well.

I'm not (very) ashamed to admit that I was utterly uninspired by the whole thing, so although the party was a blast for the littles, mama mostly sat around twiddling her thumbs. Here's the recap:

Since we opted for the "anti-gravity" package (aka, fling the kids on bungee harnesses) at the studio, we went with an astronaut theme. Here's the image for the invitations.

For the favors I went the way of simple & useful. I ordered these awesome astronaut books (plus some more age-appropriate books for the younger brothers of some of our guests).

Each page gives a few nuggets of great information about space and space travel. Laika!

And, because, really how could I not:

Freeze dried ice cream (better in theory, by the way, but it was fun to see the kids try to wrap their minds around it).

But really the best & most important part was that the kids ran and laughed and jumped and flew and sang and a great time was had by all.

(But if he thinks he's not getting the Pirate Party next year then he's smoking kindergarten crack).

Chump

Dash: Mama, can you please make Cuddles a pair of glasses & a t-shirt with a picture of a  rocket with Cuddles inside?

Mama: Seriously? Uh, ok:

(modeled by Snow Fudge as Cuddles was sleeping with Dash at the time)

Josh: I think he's just fucking with you to see what he can get you to do.

And Now We Are Six

Then




Now






Happy birthday, Shmoosh. You make everything worth doing.

Arty Farts

I was off work between Christmas & the New Year, so I got to spend the week with some of my favorite minors. After many, many bike rides around the block, trips to the park, craft days, board games & Nutella sandwiches for lunch, we decided to actually leave the house and hit us up some culture.

We headed out to LACMA to meet up with some more of our favorite minors (and one major), the Babkes family. While we waited for Adam to arrive with Ben & the twins, we treated ourselves to some $7 Shirley Temples (with a currant at the bottom instead of a cherry. that shit just made me straight angry).


Then the kids burned off the sodas by chasing each other around the lamp post installation.


Once all hands were on deck we got down to the serious work of reinterpreting the works of the modern art masters. The kids just sprawled out on the floor in front of the pieces they liked and got to it. The guards and visitors were really sweet about it and only got mad when they started poking their boogary fingers at stuff.

Joel Shapiro, Untitled (Dancing Man), 1981 // Dash Engel, Stick Dude, 2011

René Magritte,The Treachery of Images, 1929 // Dash Engel, Smoker, 2011

Josef Albers, Homage to the Square, 1951-1955 // Maddie Odom, Homage to the Homage to the Square, 2011

Jeff Koons, Quad Elvis, 2008 // Dash Engel, BUTTS BUTTS BUTTS BUTTS!, 2011

No Clue, Not A One, Who Knows? // Dash Engel, But Lookit That Grin, 2011

(FYI, locals, do you guys know about LACMA's Next Gen program? The kids become members for free--and get badges! to keep! and wear around their necks! like little official people! with little official business!--and as their companion, one adult also gets in free with each child. Free art, dudes! Hit it!)

KINGS!!

What's going to happen if Dash ever has to attend a sporting event in the plebe seats?

Ben and Dash don't mix it up with the rabble.

Is there anything classier than someone taking pictures of the fancy door scanner thing that lets us into the suite?

Also, look who figured out the tilt shift on her iPhone! 

(Thanks as always to our beloved Babkes family for letting us ride your fancy coat tails)

Christmas 2011, Yo

And just like that, Christmas came and went and we're all much richer in toys and fun and laughing, and poorer in actual money. 

The night before, Dash put on his reindeer feedin' hat & dumped the food (100% Dash-made, ingredients: oatmeal & sparkle) onto the lawn.

Earlier in the week we'd been invited to a cookie decorating party where Dash made these just for Santa. I put them right next to the menorah because I have an excellent sense of humor.

And then it was Christmas morning. Dash sneaked downstairs to assess the gift situation & returned to wake us with the proclamation that Santa had come!

This was Josh's most favorite gift from me. (OK, it's mean, but funny if you know Josh and his myriad mysterious maladies).

Dash got a new pair of Vans! We knew Santa had been requested to deliver a new pair, so we persisted in sending him to school in the filthiest, most tore up shoes ever. Finally my poor mother could take it no longer & bought him a pair of shoes to wear in the interim. They were that disgusting.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Blurgfith?

Who?

Flowers?

Flowers for whom?

...Plumber?

We didn't call a plumber!

Dolphin?

Oh, ok.

HA! LAND SHARK!

AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH

This is the exact moment the two of them realized that they're holding a snow-cone maker. A MOTHERFUCKING SNOW-CONE MAKER! IN OUR MOTHERFUCKING HOUSE!

What's "Updog"?

Not much, dog. What's up with you?

We asked Dash repeatedly what he wanted for Christmas from Santa and number one on the list every time was a "dead body." He meant an anatomy kit, but dead body is so much more awesome.

Hello ladies. How you like my large intestine?

A dismember-able zombie. Because why the hell not?

Roller blades from Grandma & Grandpa. Do you think he liked them?

This was the first year I didn't make anything for Dash, so Josh took over by making up some marshmallow shooters. Each one was painted & named (White Rain, Silver Fox, Red Ryder & Marsh Vader). What? You thought I was the only crazy person in the Engel house? Bitch, please.

Action shot!

I made up ammo stickers to go on the bags of marshmallows.

And then they proceeded to blow marshmallows at one another for the next hour. 

Josh got me this because obviously he loves me more than I deserve.

Sometimes I see shit like this and I just think, the world can't be all bad, you know? If it occurred to someone to make a straw that is also glasses.

Hope yours was merry happy, too!