Friday, June 01, 2012

Disneyland, Part the Final

Our second day at Disney was spent at California Adventure, where Dash decided to prove once and for all that he did not inherit his mother's wuss gene. That fucker rode every horrifying ride in the joint, and then asked for more. If it wasn't for his huge intellect, I would doubt he was mine at all. (I kid, I kid. The cheeks give it away).

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I knew I was in deep shit when the minute we walked through the gates he spotted this monstrosity & announced that he would be riding it shortly. Not only is that an e-fucking-normous Ferris wheel, but the cars tip back and forth on slidey rails. I honestly believed I would breathe my last on that thing. 

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Meanwhile, the boys were all, "lalala, isn't this a fun, unscary time?!"

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Double finger guns AND a raspberry means Dash is a badass.

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The boys donned their Toy Story ride 3-d glasses and then amused themselves by pretending to be robots.

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Robots FROM THE FUTURE!

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Who see something menacing in the distance! Something menacing FROM THE FUTURE!

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Eventually I convinced them to pause their attempts to make me pee my pants from terror & let me browse. I feel like I could be a complete, happy person if I had this pillow. But it was $70, so I'll continue to be incomplete and vaguely crabby.

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D Swagga

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And Pimp Baller J a.k.a. Big Money

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Eventually it was time for all of us to nut up & hit the Tower of Terror. And by terror, they mean shit-your-fucking-pants terror.

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The premise is that you're in an abandoned hotel where all the guests just up and disappeared one day. 

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And they do a pretty bang up job of scaring the hell out of you before you even step foot on the actual ride (look at that doll back there on the couch and try not to hyperventilate, I dare you). Eventually you get onto an elevator that rises eleventy-hundred stories & then plunges you down, over and over again until you die.

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I wish you could see what we're doing in this picture. I'm hanging onto the handlebars and screaming at the top of my lungs. Josh is laughing like he thinks he's going to actually live through this, and Dash looks like he's trying to remember where he parked.

Oh, wait, here:
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Also, Dash got an awesome orange hat.

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In conclusion, three years ago at Disneyland.

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Now. Some things never change.


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