Skoolz Out fo Summah!

Dash finished first grade on Thursday. I threw a party to celebrate. Because that's how I deal with life events and the changes I can't control. Well, parties and sitting in a dark room, rocking back and forth, repeating, "he's still little" to myself over and over. But let's focus on the party.

I made ice eggs (stuff a few trinkets--I used bracelets, Legos, keychains and other little Squinkies and the like--into a balloon, fill with water, tie off and freeze for a few days. Once they're frozen, peel the rubber off and voila).

And let the kids go nuts.

Look. At. That. Face. JUST LOOK AT IT!

There was also hair dyeing (with Kool Aid, Sharpies and spray-in color to accommodate every kid's needs) and food and forts and crafts. But I didn't get any pictures of anything because I was having fun just celebrating those amazing kids and their amazing parents. 

Here's our yearbook message to Dash (sans a couple of commas, but you know). We are killing this whole parenting thing.

The Day of Zubs

(We call him Zubs. There is a very, very long explanation as to why, but if I wrote it down I'd just be drawing attention to all the crazy).

SO! It was Father's Day on Sunday, and since Dash happens to own the very best of all the fathers, we celebrated in many manly ways.

The day began with gifts. Which is the best way to begin any day.

There was a barbeque component that consisted of a Dash-made apron.

And some mama-made bourbon & brown sugar barbeque sauce. (Dash made the label. The light blue should read as "soon the pig will be bacon." Dark).

If only the Internet was scratch & sniff.

ALSO: onion bacon marmalade. 

Or, you know, marmalabe. 

We made the sauces the weekend before, and needed to store them in the fridge without them being discovered early. Good thing I have Jedi training.

After a breakfast of toad in a hole, bacon, chocolate chip waffles, onion bacon marmalade toast and cinnamon rolls, Grandpa arrived and the boys went to go look at cars at the Petersen Automotive Museum. 

I know it was Father's Day, but I got the very best gift of the day: permission to not go to the Petersen museum and look at cars.

After they had seen enough cars, my fellas returned to me and I took them out for ribs. Because ribs. And also because they had a leg lamp in the waiting area. That's how we knew it was a good restaurant. Because that lamp? It's a Major Award.

Happy Father's Day, Zubs! We're the world's luckiest humans to get to share a life with you.

Forts

Some days it's just so hot. And everyone is so bored. And maybe a little cranky.

On those days there isn't much left to do but build a fort.

One king sized sheet, two stained tablecloths, a repurposed backstop and a handful of chip clips later, and we were in business.

We filled it with pillows, blankets, Otter Pops and Netflix streaming on the Kindle, and spent the entire afternoon in there. Didn't come out until dinner time. Then we did it all again the next day.

Reasons

There are so many beautiful reasons to have children.

You want to share the beauty and abundance of this world with a child.

You want to make something that will live on as a testament to your love for your spouse.

You want to share the lessons you learned from your own parents.

You want to see childhood again, through a different lens.

You want to give your parents the gift of a grandchild.

Me? I'm mostly in it for the diorama-making.

Digs

Hi! We redecorated Dash's room! Because he's a big boy now and the old room was all dark and dreary and stuffed to the rafters with crap.

The first thing we did, after getting rid of nearly everything that was hanging on his walls, was paint over the dreary putty colored walls with a nice bright, creamy white.

And then the fun began in earnest. Dash and I worked closely--with each other and with Pinterest--on selecting every last detail. It's still not completely finished, but it's close enough for now.

I couldn't find a black & white duvet or comforter I liked, so when I spotted this fabric and Dash signed off on it, I was pretty thrilled. I ordered some nice, thin cotton batting and a simple gray & white backing fabric and sewed his new blanket in less than an hour.

The inflatable tiger head is HUGE and hangs directly over his head while he sleeps. A normal child would be disturbed by this, but Dash is weird, so he's cool with it.

He thinks that log pillow is the most hilarious thing he's ever seen and never tires of announcing to guests that he sleeps on a log.

He had so much crap hanging on his walls before that it was starting to feel slightly claustrophobic in his room. I'm all for bright and cheerful, but I think we crossed a line at some point into chaotic. So when it came time to select which art pieces we'd be keeping, I was pretty ruthless. We kept the Berkley Illustration tiger he's had since he was a baby, plus I commissioned Josh & Dash to create a couple of originals for the room. More on that in a minute. 

I had been seeing these funny pom pom banners all around the interwebs, but they said things like "loser" and "bitch, please" and while hilarious, they were a little much for a seven-year-old's room. So I ordered a huge bag of pom poms from Amazon, cut some letters out of cardboard and broke out the glue gun.

My favorite part is that when he acts like a poop, I can switch it around to express my feelings.

Dash was an able, if easily-distracted, assistant on the project.

Here's his funny little reading nook. The chair is made of bungee cords, the orange poof is filled with his old stuffed animals, and his lamp is a giant ice cream cone. Because of course it is.

The lamp doesn't really give off much light, so we have it set on a timer to serve as a nightlight. Because I defy you to find a more comforting sight in the middle of the night than a giant illuminated ice cream cone.

Here's Dash's "bookcase," which is 30% books and 60% trophies and medals. The last 10% is Darth Vader alarm clock. Natch.

We bought him this bookcase years ago from Ikea. It's covered in graffiti that is actually Shakespeare quotes. So it's highfalutin' and totally rebellious at the same time.

The desk still needs a tray of some sort, along with a bowl for his tchotchkes. I was planning to cover a bunch of cans in fun paper to hold his pens and such, but when I happened upon this utensil caddy I decided it would be perfect and called it done.

He's got these horrible sliding closet doors that are the bane of my existence (first world problems, yo), so I tried to distract from them by adding simple graphic decals. I just ordered up some chalkboard contact paper, cut it into trophy & lightning bolt shapes and slapped 'em up.

I got Dash a chalk marker to keep the chalk dust to a minimum. (I don't think we're going to be having any self-esteem issues with him anytime soon.)

Here's one of the pictures I commissioned. It's Jake & Finn chilling with the Cali bear. Like they do.

The artist at work.

And here's the piece I commissioned from Josh. The man is obsessed with space in general, and the moon in particular, so when I happened upon the printable from Mr. Printables, I knew what I had to do. You can't tell much from this picture, but the moon is framed in a shadow box, with the UFO & rover mounted on little foam tabs to make them 3-d.

The mile marker is my favorite thing.

Here's the artist ...

And his beautiful but slow-witted assistant.

These are Jokes

If you would have asked me last year if Dash would ever, in a million years, want to participate in his school's annual variety show, I wouldn't have been able to stop laughing long enough to answer. I mean, honestly, this kid is too timid to say hello to his school friends on most days. 

And yet. And yet. 

He and his beloved Will and Ethan decided on an act (stand up), chose and memorized their jokes, practiced their banter, and killed it on stage.

Here they are right before the show

Here's a slightly-shaky-but-totally-worth-it video of their performance.

After the performance they were elated if a little sweaty.

I asked them to sign the the program. Because they're stars. And I will sell this shit on eBay one day.