The Professor - This one has been retired because he no longer makes the snooty face that prompted it. But oh my god, when a weeks-old infant looks down his nose at you there is, literally, nothing cuter.
Slotkin - My Russian mother, Baba Rima, takes care of Dash 4 days a week and coos to him in her native tongue. One day Josh emailed me at work to ask what the word "slotkin" means in Russian because he heard my mom say it to Dash. It took a minute until I realized that he had heard her call him "slodkee," the Russian word for "sweet." Obviously Slotkin rules over Slodkee.
Mansie - I started calling him this for no reason I can remember. But as soon as I started I tried to stop because I hated it. You know what happens when you try to get a song out of your head. This was like that but worse. So we embraced it.
Butternut - Remember the Jerky Boys? No? You're lucky. They used to call some of their marks Butt Nut and I insanely started wanting to call Dash this. When I realized that a butt nut could easily be fecal-related, I forced myself to add an "-er" and started calling him Butternut. Wrote a whole song about it. I'll post that later.
L'Aysh - A contraction of Little Dash pronounced the way his Grandpa John says it, "Daysh." No idea why he says it like that. He's from LA, born & bred, but somehow he has a drawl. Also, it looks like Hebrew.
Belly Shromp - Dash was conceived via in vitro so we have many, many pictures of him in utero at every stage of the game. The first time we actually saw something resembling a life form on the ultrasound he looked exactly like a shrimp (which we pronounce "shromp," because clearly we're insane.)