25 Days, 16

Do you watch Shear Genius? Good. Don't start. It is truly unredeemable television about catty and-- from what I can tell--untalented hairdressers competing for money or something. Who knows. I have to watch it because this season began when there was no Top Chef or Project Runway or Real Housewives of New York and I needed some Bravo reality tv.

Anyway, this season's judge is a "celebrity hair colorist" named Kim Vo.

I call him Kimmee

I'd never heard of him and his client list is pretty much Goldie Hawn & Pam Anderson. Unimpressive to say the least (last season's judge was Sally Hershberger who is contemptuous but at least also startlingly famous for a hairdresser).

Yet. Yet there is something about Kim Vo and his face. I want to cup his little face like I do Dash's when I kiss him. I want to nom nom his cheeks. He is not attractive to me in the way that I want to make out with him or anything, but he draws me in. I bet he smells great.

I mentioned all this to Josh once. And because he is a Genius of a different sort, here is a picture of my birthday cake:

That's right. The assholes put all 37 candles on the cake plus an Elmo one for good luck. When I saw it coming I thought the house had caught on fire.