Tuesday, July 22, 2008


Hey! You wanna know what is absolutely not awesome? When you think your kid's just a cranky two-year-old but then you check his temps and they're vacillating between 101 and 103. So you load him up with Tylenol and put him to bed only to be awakened by his blood-curdling screams at 1am. You thought your nights on the couch with him were over, and you're actually half right because you don't really both fit on the couch anymore so you put a huge pillow on the floor beneath where he's "sleeping" in case he rolls off and you lie down on the hard-ass floor trying for just an hour of rest. Sleep finally comes at 6am. You have to be up at 6:30am to go to work.

You thank God that you're not alone and that your husband can work from home and stay with the baby. You check in all day and the fever hasn't broken but the baby's misery can be managed with children's Tylenol and you figure it's the flu and you'll wait it out. Then you arrive home with Pedialyte and soup and chocolate ice cream but really what the kid needs is a trip to the emergency room as he is now at 105. You've heard that 104 is really pretty fucking terrible. You've never really heard of 105 before.

At the emergency room, where you're half expecting to be chucked on the chin and instructed to calm the fuck down and stop being so damn Jewy all the time, they actually rush you in and send you for x-rays (possible pneumonia!) When the x-rays come back clear you once again unclench your ass only to be told that we now need to worry about a u.t.i. or a blood infection. Or, you know, it could be nothing. Who knows?! Whee! Do you want to be admitted to the hospital? Or shall we just adhere this plastic bag to Junior's junk so we can test his pee in the morning?

You opt for option 2. So now he sleeps. With a bag that is (hopefully) filling with pee attached to his fella. And you know that you'll be waking him in a couple of hours (1:30am!) just to make sure he's not burning up. And then you'll be taking him back to the doctor for bloodwork first thing in the morning.

No. That shit is not awesome in the least.

1 comment:

tonya said...

You're right, that is decidedly NOT awesome. Good luck with everything today.