And the Oscar Goes to...

ME! I get an Oscar for acting like I can throw a party on a Sunday night & not want to kill myself on Monday morning when it's time to go to work!

OK, maybe I don't get an Oscar. Maybe I just get a headache & an "I told you so" from Mr. Engel. Whatevs. We threw an Oscars party & we killed it.

We made it a potluck & we asked guests to bring something themed on a nominated film. I did Cracker Jacks for Moneyball.

Tropical punch with little umbrellas & pineapple for the Decedents.

And (not pictured because I'm me & I never have it all the way together to take pix of the set-up): deviled eggs for Puss in Boots (Humpty Dumpty, get it? Get it?), egg rolls for Kung Fu Panda 2, pigs in blankets for Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close (this was a stretch, but I was kinda going for NY hot dogs. No one got it), & Milly's chocolate pie from The Help (I hid mini Charleston Chews in the pie to serve as the turds. Because I am all class). Our lovely guests brought incredible treats like pain au chocolate, baked brie & the world's deadliest & most delicious champagne cocktail (I'm looking at you, Babkes!)

We also had popcorn. Duh.

I printed out ballots before the party & everyone picked The Artist for everything because we were drunk but not dumb.

And the winner got this  comically big bottle of cheap champagne.

This is the very best thing to happen at the party. This is Derek. He's our beloved Samantha Kinkaid's cousin visiting from the UK. Derek fucking Turned. It. Out. (But he wouldn't let me look under the kilt, so that mystery remains unsolved).

Can we pause for a moment to discuss this woman's ass? It was unnatural. Are asses supposed to point like that? I'm not exaggerating when I say that we all spent about 10 minutes discussing said ass & what type of foundation garment or exercise routine might result in this type of pointy ass situation.

Hi cute party people!

Hi even cuter party childrens!

In conclusion, I would like to point out that there were three people at the party wearing sparkly shoes. Two of them were five-year-old girls. The third was me.