We made the awful, awful mistake of telling Dash ahead of time that we were going. The child did not sleep a wink the night before. And because we were all three sharing the world's bounciest hotel bed that night, neither did his parents.
I have some notes about our visit. Try to contain your excitement.
This is how much it costs to go to Disneyland. Not counting the custom double light-saber built for Dash the Ungrateful Turd by Josh the Loving Dad Who Totally Wished He Could Just Keep the Light Saber for His Own Damn Self.
Here's me on our first ride of the day, before it started. I won't post the picture of me on it after it started because you don't want to know what a grown woman clinging for dear life onto a kiddie ride looks like. Seriously, I'm still a little embarrassed thinking about it.
Is it weird that we did not see a single Mickey or Minnie or Donald or anything except Buzz & the Mad Hatter? I'm not that broken up about it because those things kinda scare me, but still. Weird. Dash was a little wary of Buzz (we had to kind of shove him into position because he wanted a parent between him & the giant toy at all times). But there were no hysterics, so that was cool.
That button I'm wearing tells people that it's my birthday. When the first couple of people said, "Happy Birthday, Liz!" I was kind of delighted. Hey! Total strangers want me to have a happy birthday! Ok! But after ten hours of constantly hearing people yell your name, you kinda start to freak out. I don't know why I didn't just take off the button. Probably the same reason I insisted on wearing that hat (really Dash's kids menu from lunch) for an hour after we ate. (I'm being a pirate in that picture. If you couldn't tell).
Dash says that Star Tours was his favorite ride. (I think he actually believes that he was in outer space which is so totally awesome). But I think that weird Innoventions house was a close second. We just wandered over there while waiting for Josh & Aunty to come down off of Space Mountain, but I couldn't get him back out again.
Have you guys heard of this house? Me neither. It's like this wacky "House of the Future," where all the pictures on the walls are screens that you can change (from knights & dragons to a waterfall, etc.) and all kinds of other assorted wackiness. But, the most important part is that there is karaoke. The song & video playing on the screen behind Dash were from High School Musical. He was singing the Imperial March. I've said it before and I'll say it again: NERDS!
I would like to take this opportunity to remind readers that I pulled Dash out of his last school because another kid said the words, "gun" and "shoot" to my kid. I'm not joking. I PULLED HIM OUT OF THE SCHOOL. Cut to less than one year later. Those are cap guns. Which came with a belt and holsters. He sleeps with them at night. You know, instead of a teddy bear.
We had some silhouettes cut of the three of us (p.s: if the selling point of the silhouette maker is that it'll take less than a minute, prolly won't be the world's greatest likeness. At all). While we were there, Dash "died." Here he is being "dead." Please note that his t-shirt says, "peace." Oh, irony.
No trip to Disneyland is complete without a set of mouse ears. Do you know how much these cost? Go on, guess. Thirteen dollars, that's how much! Seriously, Disneyland, I know you're all crazy with the prices, but just...seriously. Also, please to enjoy Dash's "fuck you" smile.
We had Dash's name embroidered onto the ears, because that's what one does. The woman at the place refused to believe that his name was really Dash, despite our repeated assurances. She told us that they weren't allowed to do nicknames and then proceeded to ask Dash his name. She was trying to catch us in a lie & wanted our three-year-old to sell us out. Anyway, later, I was all, "how can they possibly know if something is a nickname? Do you think they question every single person with an unusual name? And why do they even care?" And Josh was all, "Well, if someone comes up and is all, 'I want it to say Pookie...'" and it is a week later and that still makes me laugh. I don't know why.
And the day ended about how every day ends when you're an Engel man: light saber vs. shooters on the grass. This time they just happened to be in the Disneyland parking lot.